It is February. I am at an indoor water park in southwestern Wisconsin. The pasty mid-winter flesh of inveterately house-bound Midwesterners is on full display everywhere I look.
Despite the faux-tropical decor, there is no mistaking this for a beach in the Caribbean. It is like a ghoul convention, with everyone dipped in extra flour for the occasion.
I swear I came away from the wave pool with a serious case of snow blindness.
Mind you, I do not exclude myself from this in any way. Like most everyone here, there are parts of my body that haven't seen daylight since the first hard frost in October. Papa Bear has been in serious hibernation.
Nonetheless, it is truly disarming to spend a day frolicking in prepackaged summer amid several hundred ersatz albinos. I'm part of zombie spring break. There' s not even a spray-on tan here to break up the monochrome monotony.
As my mother used to say before carving the Thanksgiving turkey, if you like white meat, this is the place for you.
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5 comments:
'zombie spring break'
hilarious!
I'm betting you were among the most pale faces in the bunch. What, no stories from WNA?
I love that you now have a "pale skin" category. That just tickles me.
Excuse me, FLESH. THAT was what tickled me, not "skin." NEVER "skin."
I almost forgot, I was gonna comment on this one! Here it is:
Eeew.
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